When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
