So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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