you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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