hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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