Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
