So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
