I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
