I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
