so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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