Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
