I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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