google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I'm passing your future prison.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
