i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I'd cum for enchiladas.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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