Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
