just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize