I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
