READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
