i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
