Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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