My first STD was from a foam party
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
