I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
