Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
You may now shotgun with the bride
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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