would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
