Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
