Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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