I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
