he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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