I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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