Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
