i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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