yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
