Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
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