Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
