She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
