Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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