We won't sleep together?
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i think my mom watched the whole time
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
