Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
