4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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