also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
