I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
How's work?
Spinning.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
