Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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