YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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