I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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