I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Randomize
