After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
