fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
