**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
