i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
