I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
