his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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