"it" just moved
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You may now shotgun with the bride
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
